I hear people say that they can not do something. They can not forgive. They can not let go. They can not understand. In reality, when it comes to emotion, we are empowered. You can almost always assume that, when making a “can not” statement regarding your feelings or emotions, that the statement may as well be a “will not”. To say that we can not put space between us and our feelings to look at them objectively is in opposition to what mindfulness and the scientific study thereof has taught us: that we ARE in control. Objectively then, it sometimes helps to be clear and restate. Instead of “I can not forgive,” we say “I choose not to forgive,” and instead of “I can not let go,” we say “I choose not to let go.” By doing so, we admit our role in continuing our suffering.